I don't want to be a shell...
Read me.
Description :
Just a few words on a page, that are completely irrelevant and meaningless.
17th May '09
So its been pretty much three days of rain in the UK, its not bothering me that much only because I know that I dont have to go out in it!! Watched the eurovison last night, and I think there might be hope, although there was still a lot of political voting going on, a lot was based on the songs and music. For once it was nice not to be on the right hand side of the score bored with 0 points. But can you believe it...the UK came 5th...I wasnt expecting top 5, maybe top 10.
Anyway!! Only 5 days left until I leave Uni for good and I go back home. I missing everyone at home so bad, there are going to be a handful of people that i'm going to miss here, but ill be back and ill stay in touch. Its also just over two weeks until I go to the Dominican Republic with one of my Uni friends. I seriously can't wait, but I still need to get travel insurance and exchange my pound stirling for dollars. The only thing im really nervous about is the flying, we are going from manchester airport and apparently its a 9 hour flight. Im sure i'll be fine, just have a couple of drinks during the flight and I might nod off...Im terrible for that and drink, it just makes me really sleepy!
The other thing that got to me last night and led to me falling asleep in a bad mood was the fact that this guy that recently has been talking to me quite a lot....hes from home and Im not really sure what he expects to happen, it actually feels like im dating this guy....strange!! Anyway, back to the point...he said to me...'You think you know what you now, but you don't, all you want is for someone to love you and be loved'
In my eyes this is complete and utter balls. For anyone that doesn't know me, im very independent, and think that there is more to life, that finding your perfect partner and falling deeply in love and being with that person forever.
Don't get my wrong, I have been in relationships where there have been strong feelings between the pair of us, but looking back, they only held me back from my true potential. For me, the best bit in any relationship, or 'thing' between to people, is the passion, the fire and the feeling to just rip your clothes of each other, none of this lovey dovey flowers and chocolate, and falling asleep in each other arms. Im really not a romantic.
The other thing, I dont get with guys is the need to protect girls. I don't need to be looked after, I can think for myself and I can fight my own battles and don't doubt that for a second.
The only way into my heart is to have fun, bring laughter and passion.
xx
Anyway!! Only 5 days left until I leave Uni for good and I go back home. I missing everyone at home so bad, there are going to be a handful of people that i'm going to miss here, but ill be back and ill stay in touch. Its also just over two weeks until I go to the Dominican Republic with one of my Uni friends. I seriously can't wait, but I still need to get travel insurance and exchange my pound stirling for dollars. The only thing im really nervous about is the flying, we are going from manchester airport and apparently its a 9 hour flight. Im sure i'll be fine, just have a couple of drinks during the flight and I might nod off...Im terrible for that and drink, it just makes me really sleepy!
The other thing that got to me last night and led to me falling asleep in a bad mood was the fact that this guy that recently has been talking to me quite a lot....hes from home and Im not really sure what he expects to happen, it actually feels like im dating this guy....strange!! Anyway, back to the point...he said to me...'You think you know what you now, but you don't, all you want is for someone to love you and be loved'
In my eyes this is complete and utter balls. For anyone that doesn't know me, im very independent, and think that there is more to life, that finding your perfect partner and falling deeply in love and being with that person forever.
Don't get my wrong, I have been in relationships where there have been strong feelings between the pair of us, but looking back, they only held me back from my true potential. For me, the best bit in any relationship, or 'thing' between to people, is the passion, the fire and the feeling to just rip your clothes of each other, none of this lovey dovey flowers and chocolate, and falling asleep in each other arms. Im really not a romantic.
The other thing, I dont get with guys is the need to protect girls. I don't need to be looked after, I can think for myself and I can fight my own battles and don't doubt that for a second.
The only way into my heart is to have fun, bring laughter and passion.
xx
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# Posté le dimanche 17 mai 2009 08:50
16th May '09
So this morning...I was dreading waking up with one of the worst hangovers that I might have possibly ever had...but to my amazement, I have nothing, not even a twinge in my head, this is also oblivious to the fact that I think I might be still completely sloshed..but thats not the point!!
My night out went ahead, it didn't rain, not one bit which I was extremely happy with. So you might be thinking who I went out with, well...its a 'friend' of mine and I say friend, but im not overly sure what he is exactly. Its hard to explain. We are very similar in the ways that think about relationships and jobs and general everyday things, but if we were to be together, it just wouldn't work. But, I often get myself questioning it, and wondering what might happen, and whether it would be as bad as we think it might be.
I mean it is pretty silly, we've been going out and doing daft things with each other for almost 2 years now and to think in that time we have got pretty close...but the truth is, I don't believe half the things that come out of his mouth, its nothing to do with trust, I trust him as a person, but its just belief.
Other than that, it looks like its going to be another rainy day here....whoop de doo!! and I totally need to go out and get some bread and milk, so looks like im going to get drenched after all...can't be all bad thought right?!
xx
My night out went ahead, it didn't rain, not one bit which I was extremely happy with. So you might be thinking who I went out with, well...its a 'friend' of mine and I say friend, but im not overly sure what he is exactly. Its hard to explain. We are very similar in the ways that think about relationships and jobs and general everyday things, but if we were to be together, it just wouldn't work. But, I often get myself questioning it, and wondering what might happen, and whether it would be as bad as we think it might be.
I mean it is pretty silly, we've been going out and doing daft things with each other for almost 2 years now and to think in that time we have got pretty close...but the truth is, I don't believe half the things that come out of his mouth, its nothing to do with trust, I trust him as a person, but its just belief.
Other than that, it looks like its going to be another rainy day here....whoop de doo!! and I totally need to go out and get some bread and milk, so looks like im going to get drenched after all...can't be all bad thought right?!
xx
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# Posté le samedi 16 mai 2009 05:35
Modifié le samedi 16 mai 2009 13:33
12th May '09
So. I've completely neglected my blog for quite a while now...but anyone who understand thats sometimes you need to take a break from trying to explain every little thing that seems to happen in your life, by deconstructing, and evaluating yourself over and over and over...after a while you run yourself dry and your previous efforts become wasted.
But. Here I am. Again, ready for a fresh start and to completely scratch my head...with the input of those willing to read about the actions that I take, the decisions that have got me to where I am today, and finally the progress I have to make to become successful, unforgettable and completely, utterly 110% happy.
So from there. I suppose I should really explain a little about myself.
Im just about to finish my degree in management that I have been studying towards for the past 3 years now, there have been low points and high points, but overall a memorable experience that has taught me life lesson that I will never forget.
Im very much single to the point that I now refer to myself as unavailable. Im sick of people holding me back, and not letting me perform to my highest potential, my first love is to my beautiful baby cat. He is gorgeous and I can't resist sitting in on a sunday night infront of a film with a bottle of wine, some expensive chocolates and my boy. That is how I want to be forever, nights like that, I feel that there is nothing else in this world better than that, and if there is, I want to discover it!
Reading this, I understand that you might think that im a bit of a drip...and I might be able to understand that. But what I most want to know is why...how can someone judge me not for what I do...but what I don't do. In the mean time you will just have to stay tuned. It might get interesting.
xx
But. Here I am. Again, ready for a fresh start and to completely scratch my head...with the input of those willing to read about the actions that I take, the decisions that have got me to where I am today, and finally the progress I have to make to become successful, unforgettable and completely, utterly 110% happy.
So from there. I suppose I should really explain a little about myself.
Im just about to finish my degree in management that I have been studying towards for the past 3 years now, there have been low points and high points, but overall a memorable experience that has taught me life lesson that I will never forget.
Im very much single to the point that I now refer to myself as unavailable. Im sick of people holding me back, and not letting me perform to my highest potential, my first love is to my beautiful baby cat. He is gorgeous and I can't resist sitting in on a sunday night infront of a film with a bottle of wine, some expensive chocolates and my boy. That is how I want to be forever, nights like that, I feel that there is nothing else in this world better than that, and if there is, I want to discover it!
Reading this, I understand that you might think that im a bit of a drip...and I might be able to understand that. But what I most want to know is why...how can someone judge me not for what I do...but what I don't do. In the mean time you will just have to stay tuned. It might get interesting.
xx
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# Posté le mardi 12 mai 2009 16:19
Modifié le samedi 16 mai 2009 13:49
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